Category Archives: Husband

“I just Couldn’t Do It”

Having a large family these days is as common as a VCR sittin’ under your flat screen TV.  Ya just don’t see them anymore.  I know compared to my dad and his 15 siblings, my 5, soon to be 6 kids seems….let’s just say….little.

I guess when you really think about it, 5 kids is really not a lot of kids….until you live with them. he he.  There are days where my little angels fly around the house and play around the yard with halos and their fluffy gleamingly white wings, and there are days I wonder if they really belong to me. Nan and I have a little inside joke.  When the kids act up or are extremely hornary, we tell each other, “Oh, that must be from your side of the family.”  Truth be told, we know each of us has our little contribution to their behavioral makeup, but it is always fun to blame each other.

We found ourselves at the pool again the other day, when my little chatterbox Ciara started informing the unsuspecting lady of our family history as well as our future arrival.  She then ran into Nan and said “Your kids are so polite and so well behaved, (this after playing with her daughter’s bag of pool toys) you’re going to have six?  I barely have two, and can barely handle them. I just couldn’t do it.”  If you would have talked to me years ago I would have said the same thing.  The hardest adjustment for me was going from 1 to two kids, but now, it seems like a drop in the bucket.

It’s funny how now that we have 5 kids, we don’t even think about the work, we just do it. One of my “domestic duties” around the house is towels.  That’s all the laundry that Nan really trusts me with after shrinking several blouses and turning a couple of undergarments pink.  I guess I was a little behind on towels because I did 4.5 loads of just towels. I did another 3 loads of just sheets and blankets. Since our work load is increasing especially as the kids grow, we are now assigning household chores.  Noah is responsible for trash, Elly is dishes, and we are lucky if Ciara and Lukas get their dishes to the sink in one piece. Ethan’s job is just to look cute, and the new baby’s job is to eat, sleep and poop, which I’m sure she will have mastered by the first day.

When I hear that comment “I couldn’t do it” from people, I think back of how do we really do it? I guess if I thought about it, I wouldn’t do it either. If I did, I’d probably go into hiding somewhere because of all the work it takes. I don’t think about it really. I think more about my kids and how I can make a difference in their life, and making sacrifices for such special little people.  Giving up the date night so that we can make a special memory with the kids, or not getting the pruning shears I need so that I can get some icecream for the kids on a hot summer night. In the end these are sacrifices that have big payoffs, and it is really worth it.  I will look back one day and see my legacy live on. It’s not always easy, but in the end it is worth it.

What kind of sacrifices do you make as a parent?

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A Father’s Perspective

Twelve years ago Nan and I began our family journey, and although we hadn’t talked about it in-depth, we knew we probably should start our “family planning” at some point in our lives. Preferably before I needed a hov-a-round and before she became a news sensation being the oldest mom alive.  Just as most newly married couples begin to feel the pressure to start the baby talk, we succumbed to the pressure, and, after all,  it’s the next logical step right?    Well, we had been engaged for a year, and married for close to a year, and figured we weren’t getting any younger so we should start trying. Little did we know what the next few years would bring.

For those couples that have endured the hardship of one or several miscarriages, you understand the pain and heartache that can be felt with each seemingly fleeting attempt.  The mountains and valleys of emotion living in hopes that this is the month, come and go, and a sense of hopelessness begins to take residence. As a husband, I would be strong for Nan when it became too difficult for her, and as a wife, she was strong for me when I had a difficult time. I think sometimes as men we try not to show weakness, but when you are trying so hard for something as delicate and fragile as life, knowing that there is a part of you growing inside the woman you love, you become very attached to that little heartbeat, that child that will soon depend on you for everything, that will look to you for guidance and nurturing.  You can’t help but show emotion.


My baby girl now at 9 years old. Eliana aka. Elly

Desperate times called for desperate measures, and Nan and I both felt God speak to us one year at a conference we were attending in Columbus Ohio. It was one of those messages that stirs you to action, gets you off of your seat and believing God for the impossible.  With tears streaming down my face, faith as high as the sky, we sowed the largest financial seed we have ever sown to this day.  It was a true stretch of our faith not only as a couple, but believing for our family and our futures. After a long and grueling 6 months had passed, Nan was finally pregnant, and with all the let-downs we had experienced before, we didn’t want to get our hopes up only to be let down yet again. The first trimester passed, second trimester finished, and then the third.  Finally on December 13, 2002 on a Friday morning at a very rushed and almost didn’t make dash for the hospital, at 8:48 am Eliana was born .  We named her Eliana which means “God answered my prayer” in Hebrew, and which also happens to be our middle names put together, Eli and Ann.  So needless to say she holds a very special and dear place in my heart.  She’s a daddy’s girl, always excited for me to get home, saying Dada as her first word, and adding the twinkle in my eye and the leap in my step.  If I was sitting down, she always had to be in my lap.  Every moment was with Daddy.  For those of you that have daughters, you understand there is just something special between a dad and his baby girl.  These days she is embarrassed to hold my hand in public, but I know that at night when it’s just her and I she always wants to cuddle, and I will cuddle with her whenever she wants no matter how big she gets.

My problem now isn’t finding time to cuddle with Elly, but rather making room for 5 soon to be 6 kids on my lap.  For some reason they all want to sit on my lap at the same time, and somehow I make room for all of them so no one feels left out. I wonder how we do it with so many kids, but somehow we make it.  Although my kids don’t have every electronic gadget known to man, they have enough that they can experience technology without it becoming the focus of their lives.  They still know how to go play outside and dredge through a forest conquering battles and waging war against the Autobots and Decepticons all under the canopy of a pine tree.  they still know how to enjoy a hot summer day running through the sprinklers, while dad is actually trying to water the grass at the same time.

Being a father is one of the greatest experiences any male can ever encounter and I am every day reminded of what a great responsibility it is at the same time. Sometimes it kinda scares me that my kids will become a product of who I am, and my relationship with them will influence a lot of who they become and grow up to be.  I’d like to think that they would look back at their childhood and see that there is a father that invested time in them, taught them right from wrong, and demonstrated the importance of developing a relationship with a God that loves them very much. Do I lose my temper sometimes, do I get a little rougher with the kids than I want to, do I regret things that I say before thinking, uh…yeah. I’d be lying if I said otherwise. I guess that is the “scary” part, knowing that my behavior influences them either positively or negatively.

Team Sanchez

My family, (well 5 of the kids anyway)

I think about my kids, and I want them to have everything I didn’t have, not too much or not too little, just the right balance so they know how to appreciate things, but don’t feel deprived because all their friends have gadgets they don’t have.  I want them to grow up with values and know that people and lives matter, and when things get rough, it’s not time to give up, but seek God for answers and learn to persevere through difficulty. It is in those difficult and rough patches in life, that we learn to trust in God, and grow stronger and as a father I want to protect them from anything that could possibly happen to them.  Deep inside I know there are those lessons they are going to have to learn on their own, and it’s going to be important for me to be there to help nurture and guide them.  This journey called fatherhood is not an easy one, and I salute and commend all the other fathers out there that are giving their best to their families and their kids, not professing to know everything, but like myself, learning and making mistakes, and learning from those mistakes along the way. I hope you have a Happy Father’s Day and enjoy all the joys and privileges that come with being a father!

The Hunt Is Over!!

Well we did it!  Our Quest for a playground to put in the back yard has been completed! 

For the last few weeks, Nan and I have been on a hunt.  Literally mission impossible combing the internet day in and day out, sometimes minute by minute hour by hour, second by second.  The requirements simple, yet seemingly impossible to fill.  One would think it would be simple to find something for our rambunctious and witty 9, 7, 5, and 3 year olds, to romp and ramble on, but not even Nan or I realized the extent of the task ahead of us. Moments of sweet victory followed by valleys of disappointment.  How do you say?  Well, for those of you that have had the pleasure of experiencing one of the seven wonders of the World Wide Web, the flea market of the 21st century, the deal of all deal finders called Craigslist.  I must admit, I am a bit of an addict, and as my beloved significant other has so eloquently put it…..we are “Craigslist Junkies.”  Searching for the next and best great deal trying to save and maximize our dollars.  Let’s just say that the “Free” section link has been permanently etched on my screen.  For those of you that know us, you know that Nan and I are a little picky.  We had just a few requirements for this playset for the kids. It had to have several activities ie. Slide, swings, monkey bars etc. Had to be made out of wood, not too old or in too bad of shape, but may need a little paint or re-staining.  I was willing to take it and dis-assemble if it meant saving a few bucks. Oh, and one last minor detail, it had to be very affordable, so affordable, I wouldn’t have to pay for it.  Yep I said it, it had to be F-R-E-E, Free!.  What can I say?  Have you ever been on a tight budget (like zero dollars) and wanted to do something awesome for your kids?  For those of you that live on one income, you feel me, you catch my drift, and you’r eatin’ what I’m dishin’.  So the quest began.  Searching high and low for just the right playset.  You would think it would be a simple process, but unfortunately there are a ton of other people just like me that are lookin’ for the same great deal, and they somehow always beat me to it!  I would find one that we loved, emailed as fast as my little fingers could type, only to find out someone had beat me to it. Yeah, some of you are nodding your head right now cause you know exactly what I’m talkin’ about.

Well this time we were the early bird, and caught one heck of a worm!  Yeah I have to disassemble it myself, but it will be perfect in my back yard and will provide tons of summer fun for the kiddos.  I will post some pics once I have it up.  Let’s just hope I live to tell about it!  ha ha.


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Ready, Set, GO!!!

Ok, so it’s time to begin my blogging journey. For those of you that don’t know me, I am a dad with 5, soon to be 6 kids and I have an awesome wife of 12 years, which, by the way is a gorgeous Puerto Rican mama! sizzle sizzle. Ok ok…technically she’s white, mexican and who knows what else…but we lay homage to her Puerto Rican roots!!  I love my family and love spending time teaching, learning and growing with all of life’s changes.

This past weekend, I had an epiphany of sorts.  I was snuggled nice and warm in my bed, the whole house silent at 7 am, no kids running around, no dog licking my face to let him outside, and I didn’t have to be at work.  You would think I would be sleeping away getting as much rest as I could, instead, I’m wide awake.  I am thinking about art, bills, things to do with the kids, the fact that I need to mow the lawn, and whatever else ran across my mind. (you know how it is.)

Then I got to thinking, when you think of dad blogs, there are not many out there.  There are tons of mommy blogs about making snacks, and saving money and cutting coupons, but what about the brotherhood?  What about the Men, in-particular, fathers/husbands (not necessarily at the same time)  that want to learn more and talk about stuff that happens in daily life? I know there are dads like me and not like me and figured that would be great to talk about dad/father stuff!!

So I decided to embark on this adventure and see if there are other dads and husbands out there that would like to share our experiences, failures, successes, and the little things that we don’t usually talk about.  I hope my experiences as a father of 5, soon to be 6, will be encouraging, funny, informative and all the other stuff that comes along with family life. I guess this is the clubhouse for boys.  No Females allowed.  Just kidding. I think this is going to be a fun and adventurous journey that hopefully encourages other men out there to be better fathers, give ideas and share things that will help us all out.

I hope you get involved and share as much or as little as you want (preferrably the first of the two) and make this a fun and interactive forum to be in.  Since we are on the subject…..tell me about your last idea encounter(s), or lack of idea encounters, I know there has got to be some stories out there somewhere!